I saw her singing by the center stage and could not help but be awed. She was sweating, panting profusely even, but she was smiling. The kind of smile that reflected how much she enjoyed performing; although personally, to me, her smiles bring nothing but enchantment and awe.
The claps of the appreciative audiences drowned my heartbeat, and yet, it was there; my heartbeat. The sudden gushing of emotions towards my chest, that sudden rush as if I was being chased and running for my dear life, that was how my heart went in rage. It was in secret, no one knew but me. Yet it was there.
As the lights fade and the music suddenly disappear into a low hum, our eyes met. And suddenly, there was just me and her. She smiled. I grinned. Within the dim confines of the back stage, our eyes locked. It was in secret. No one knew. Yet it happened. And it meant much more to me than I would have openly admitted.
I extended my hand for a handshake. She took it with a smile and bowed politely. I was still grinning, ear to ear, happiness overflowing. Did she know? That I was this happy every time I saw her? Did she know? That she was the reason for the sudden convulsion inside my chest followed closely by the unexplainable butterflies in my stomach?
Hmm... I wonder if she knew... Because this, again, was a secret. No one knew. Yet, it existed.
I opened my mouth to say something... Anything! Just to prolong whatever contact between us... Yet I was dumbfounded. What was I to say? Should I say, 'great performance'? Maybe 'congratulations'? A mere greeting? That won't be enough.
She broke eye contact and slowly retrieved her hand to end the handshake. 'No!' My mind screamed. I allowed myself a bit of liberty and allowed my hand to linger a bit longer with hers. She looked at me with a puzzled expression on her face as if asking 'What's wrong?'.
I grinned sheepishly.
The whole backstage was still in chaos. The other 2NE1 girls were still smiling, shaking hands and bowing with the other people at the backstage. Yet, there we were; she and me. We remained unnoticed amidst the ruckus.
"Sandara Park..." I uttered with a smile. Yes, I didn't call her 'Noona'. I never wanted to be her younger brother anyway.
I closed the gap between us to whisper into her ear. "Wanna know a secret?"
She looked confused and unsure. I never knew what was running inside her mind at that very moment. She could be thinking about a million of different things that I would never know about...
But this, I know for sure... and I grinned at her.
"I love you..."
It was a secret. No one knew. Just she and me. But it's true and it happened.
-//-//-//-//-//-
Ahhh... It's so nice to write a drabble every once in a while. My current fics are all written in third POV so this was a pleasantly welcomed break.
Actually, I'm going to be busy within the next few days even though it's summer here in the Philippines because it's my last year in my pre-Law course in College and this requires more effort at school. Plus the on-the -job-training that I was talking about in my previous posts has to be taken cared of.
I don't know when I'll have enough time to sit down and actually write a decent update for my current fics. To be honest, I've been finding myself exhausted towards writing. I mean, I get ideas but I just can't seem to concentrate.
Truth is, I've started writing the draft for the new chapters of TCI and KTC, but I haven't reached my minimum word count quota yet. Yes, I set a word count quota for myself and that quota is a minimum of 3000 words per chapter. This is to make sure that the readers get enough 'juice' from each chapter of my story.
Updates?
Lemme see...
Went to the Mall today.
I went to the mall today and met up with a classmate regarding our OJT. We talked briefly and then she left. I was left alone but I actually enjoyed my time alone being at the mall. Why? Because I was allowed to spend as much time as I like inside Book Sale! Yay! (Kinda brings out the inner geek in me, don't you think?)
I bought a book.
I bought a book entitled, "What If? Writing Exercises for Fiction Writers" by Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter. It's an old book and I bought it for only 86.00 Php! So cheap!
I started reading its introduction and stuff, and I think, I might just get something out of it. Teehee... It's nice to learn from pros. I mean, yeah, sure, I'm still hoping for a chance to get a work of mine published someday. A girl can dream, right? =)
Enrollment tomorrow.
By the way, I have to mention that being Seniors in College for the upcoming school year, our enrollment is just around the corner, plus, our OJT. Hn. Can't I have a break?! So, yeah, it means more busy time for me and less time for writing.
Thinking of changing my pseudonym.
It entered my mind that maybe, I needed to change shatteredteardrops into a more sophisticated and updated version of a pseudonym. Mind you, shatteredteardrops was my pseudonym since last 2004. You can verify it at my Fanfiction.net account. That was eons ago. I was a crappy writer then. Not that I'm not crappy now but, I think I've improved a lot since then.
I was thinking of changing it into a proper name, one with a first and last name, but I'm still torn about it. After all, I was known as shatteredteardrops for the last six years of my fanfiction writing life. And my accounts were all registered under shatteredteardrops or shattered_teardrops. It would be a waste if I suddenly overhauled everything, right?
Hm. I rant a lot.
Ciao.
regards,
shatteredteardrops
