Yes, I've been MIA for a month

... and with an acceptable reason.

I've been pretty open about how law school affected my life since I nose-dived into it without much preparation or warning. (Well, I've been warned, but I didn't think it would be too difficult. I was wrong.)

The epic failure of my grades, my barely-existent social life reduced further to mere miniscule shambles, my stressed-out appearance, my dwindling eyesight (I'm near-sighted and it's getting worse.), and my constantly saturated brain were the results of my first semester in law school.

It's not fun. It's challenging definitely, but not fun.

We're constantly bombarded with essay questions which seem more like trick questions, rather than an essay ones. MCQs are hecka confusing, and the teachers, well, some of them are exactly the devil personified.

And so, I am left confused and torn yet again.

During my first week of law school, the Dean of our College told us that being in law school required a lot of sacrifices - some small, some big - all of them essential in order to survive law school.

She said that, "Law School is a jealous mistress...". Most of the working-students were discouraged from employment if it's possible for them to study without any distraction. And this advice came with good reason: law school really is tough.

And this topic, I would like to relate with the promise I made a month ago: I promised not to abandon writing my SoEul fanfiction entitled "Keeping the Casanova". In fact, I even promised not to quit writing fanfics.

I haven't posted an update for a month already, and this has been a constant source of heartbreak. I feel that as a writer, I've failed in the most basic task of posting new chapters for my readers.

And I don't even have much time to write because most of my time is spent on reading, studying and memorizing. What's left of it, I use to rest and help out with the chores at home. (I'm the eldest daughter. Imagine the responsibility.)

As of the moment, I am in deep contemplation. (Not to mention, confused as hell.)

I have been writing for eight years now - admittedly, that is not such a short time and something that is not easy to give up.

I don't want to give up writing fanfics.
I don't want to give up writing Keeping the Casanova.
I don't want to give-up SoEul.
I don't want to give up being shattered teardrops.

...but it's as if I'm driven to the edge and forcefully pushed to choose between two things I highly value.

School or Writing?

The decision is heartbreaking. =(



regards,
shatteredteardrops

Busy as hell

My life took a sudden dive for a lot of things... Literally.

I will have a few days off for Christmas but that's the only rest I get after a lot of weeks filled with strenuous activities ranging from mountain-hiking, gift giving, Christmas parties and the moohlaah... er... whatever.

Anyways, I will try to conjure an update for my stories during the few days of free time I'm allowed to have in the spirit of Christmas. Hopefully, it'll be my Christmas gift to all of you. =)

Some readers...

Readers read my stories because they like it. And I appreciate that. REALLY.

But what I don't like are the kind of readers who demand as if they actually PAY fanfic Authors like me to update. This post may come off as harsh, but I really get offended and irritated with readers who say things like:

"Yah! Why did it take for you to update so long?"
"ya, what took you so long to update, been waiting for this forever"

I appreciate it that some readers like my story enough to actually be impatient about when the next update will be. I'm a reader, too, and I get impatient as well so I perfectly understand that.

But I have to remind you guys that I write fanfics for free. I do the planning, typing and even editing, all by myself. Although I'm not a professional writer, I do my best to provide quality fanfics for the readers. And this, I also do for free, because I love writing.

Second, I HAVE A LIFE outside of writing. If you don't understand that, let me spell it out for you. I am a full-time College student. I'm the eldest daughter in our family. I have responsibilities which are more important than writing. The little time I have left for myself is spent on writing hence, I can't update often.

If you like my story enough, you can show your appreciation through the following:
BE PATIENT and WAIT 'TIL I UPDATE.

DO NOT DEMAND OR USE A DEMANDING TONE ON ME BECAUSE THAT IRKS ME.

I would understand if you demand an update in a joking manner. And I don't mind that because it's nicely expressed and it comes off as a joke from a reader to the writer.

If you say, "Update soon!" I think this would be enough reminder to tell me that you guys are waiting. In fact, this is a common comment I've read in almost every comment/review on my stories. And I've been so used to this that I don't find it infuriating anymore.

Third, the first and foremost reason why I write, is for self-fulfillment, self-expression and as a creative outlet. As you can see, all these are self-centered reasons. I do not write for the number of readers. I do not write for recognition.

I write for myself.

As a writer, I think that readers being able to appreciate my writing is already a bonus for the craft that I love doing. And this only motivates me to work harder... But is not the main reason why I write.

I am not reader-centric. I do not aim to please readers. If I did, I would have updated everyday with crappy and unedited chapters just to satisfy the readers' demand for an update.

If you are a reader of mine and you read this, I hope you understand why I am so infuriated with readers who only demand without even knowing what the Author has gone through. I have been sick these past few days that's why I wasn't able to update soon.

I think that as an Author of the fanfiction story that readers' follow and read, I am entitled to a bit of consideration from the readers. I do this thing for free! I do not demand payment! The least you guys could do is thank me and wait patiently for my updates!



regards,
shatteredteardrops